The First Hundred Thousand by Ian Hay

The First Hundred Thousand by Ian Hay

Author:Ian Hay [Hay, Ian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781443438513
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada
Published: 2014-06-20T16:00:00+00:00


Officers commanding companies will render to the orderly room without fail, by 9 a.m. tomorrow, the name of one man qualified to act as chiropodist to the company.

Major Kemp scratched his nose in a dazed fashion, and looked over his spectacles at his quartermaster sergeant.

“What in thunder will they ask for next?” he growled. “Have we got any tame chiropodists in the company, Rae?”

Quartermaster Sergeant Rae turned over the company roll.

“There is no—no—no man of that profession here, sirr,” he reported, after scanning the document. “But,” he added optimistically, “there is a machine-fitter and a glassblower. Will I warn one of them?”

“I think we had better call for a volunteer first,” said Major Kemp tactfully.

Accordingly, that afternoon upon parade, platoon commanders were bidden to hold a witch hunt, and smell out a chiropodist. But the enterprise terminated almost immediately; for Private Dunshie, caressing his injured abdomen in Number Three Platoon, heard the invitation, and quickly stepped forward.

“So you are a chiropodist as well as everything else, Dunshie!” said Ayling incredulously.

“That’s right, sirr,” assented Dunshie politely.

“Are you a professional?”

“No exactly that, sirr,” was the modest reply.

“You just make a hobby of it?”

“Just that, sirr.”

“Have you had much experience?”

“No that much.”

“But you feel capable of taking on the job?”

“I do, sirr.”

“You seem quite eager about it.”

“Yes, sirr,” said Dunshie, with gusto.

A sudden thought occurred to Ayling.

“Do you know what a chiropodist is?” he asked.

“No, sirr,” replied Dunshie, with unabated aplomb.



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